Stunning new starlet Brittany Stryker dances alone, withdrawn from the pain and frustration of relationships. Her constant masturbation is her one escape. This bittersweet solitude is broken by the intrusion of old friends. The taunts and teasing of her promiscuous friends drive her to have nightmares of her masturbation fantasy, having each of her holes filled with a large vibrating pink dildo, the cold piece of plastic to which she is addicted. She is left empty and begging for the real thing, which she gets when three young studs replace the cold plastic with the hot pulsating real thing, all three of them at once! In the midst of her struggle, and the constant partying (Wesson oil and all!) of her friends, Brittany somehow finds what she really wants.

Hughe de Grand-Mât is a dissolute man who lives in a stately home alone but for his secretary, Joyce (never to be mentioned again). Feeling his death approaching he gathers all his descendants in order to decide who is going to be his heir. (The soundtrack mentions the families being stern and serious but sublime Erika Cool and Siegrid Cellier were definitely not fit to embody that!). Joël is there with his parents and looking forward to meeting his cousin Catherine. When bored Joël goes out and Catherine seems glad to accompany him but ... Strolling alone on the grounds, Joël witnesses his uncle dressed in religious clothes inside his chapel and masturbating while his two female servants are involved with each other and a plastic tool. Joël enters and masturbates too until he faints on the steps leading to the altar.

Jeez, even my hero, Bruce Seven can have a rough go of it when he's working with next to nothing, although this inexpensively made production does have a purpose. This is a textbook example of pulp movie making. The story line, that anyone in possession of a certain glass bauble can have a great sex life, serves only to get from one scene to the next as it changes hands between the various characters. The action in the movie flows like a grocery list. In fact, there ought to be a sticker slapped on the back that reads: "Ingredients: 2 guys/ 1 chick, 2 chicks/1 guy, 2 chicks, guy/girl, solo chick fantasy, (bondage) 2 chicks/2guys/I chick (tied-up)." Even though the sex is plentiful, there are a lot of flabby thighs and the guys look like they'd never get laid if they weren't in adult films. Heard enough? Anyway, I did say this film had a purpose, didn't I? Well, it's like this. Tired of the dumb videos they show on the large screen TV at your local watering hold? Tell the guy with the earring that calls himself a vj to slip this tape on and see if he gets any complaints. This tape is so tame that I think nobody would suspect anything out of the ordinary. If nothing else, the abundance of the sex in this tape could make said bar a little more interesting. Look, I'm getting a little tired of the same, interchangeable, fat-assed secretaries bitching bout their crummy office jobs. Supposed Gil Scott-Heron was wrong when he said "The Revolution Will Not Be Televised?" Where's John Lennon when we need him? WE WANT TO DO IT IN THE ROAD!!!! I'm sorry. I'm getting silly and carried away. What I was trying to say is that the only real thing you want this tape for is to use as ambient video. Relegated to the background it's not so bad. However, to sit there watching this for an hour and a half . . . pleeeeeze! Bruce, baby, get back to the kind of work that makes us proud of you.

A modern day fairy tale, which tells the story of Edward, the man created by an inventor, who died before finishing him and left Edward with penises where he should have hands. One day when the local Avon hottie appears where Edward has been living alone, and she takes him home to stay with her family. He has to adapt to the new life and environment that he isn't used to. Soon he shows a talent in plugging holes, and shooting cream from his fingers and wins every body's heart.